February 8, 2007

Perry's Vision for Texas = Ted Nugent

This is old news but I just now found it so I'm posting it because it's really, really funny.


Below are a few comparisons between what Gov. Perry said in his moving speech and what his hired entertainment, Deadly Tedly, said and did on stage later that evening at the ball:

On Racial Prejudice & Hatred
Perry’s Inaugural Speech: “140 years ago a segment of our people was enslaved and considered less than equal. But we are overcoming past prejudice for the sake of the common good…[...]…Imagine the possibilities in a Texas blind to color, class and ethnicity, where no one is invalidated because of their heritage, but valued because of their humanity.

Ted Nugent at the Inaugural Ball: The Motor City Madman played his scorching set draped in a confederate flag shirt – a symbol of slavery in just about everyone’s book – showing his pride for the South and his disrespect for African-American heritage in one crushing blow of 70’s-era guitar force. Perry danced on stage in his tuxedo, grinning contentedly.

On Immigration
Perry’s Inaugural Speech: “My vision for Texas is a tremendous tapestry of diversity woven together by common threads. We are of many faiths, traditions, heritages, but we are all Texans. And in Texas, it is not your identity that matters most, but your ideals.”

Ted Nugent at the Inaugural Ball: During his performance, The Nuge shouted several offensive remarks about non-English speakers and made plain his disgust for foreigners in general and giving them what for. Illegal aliens and people lacking English grammar got a taste of real guitar attack that evening, thanks to the handy work of Theodocious Atrocious. Perry danced on stage in his tuxedo, grinning contentedly.

On Bipartisanship
Perry’s Inaugural Speech: “Texas is better off when Republicans and Democrats work together. Our potential is too vast to be spoiled by a politics leavened with partisanship. There is so much we must do together.”

Ted Nugent at the Inaugural Ball: During his set, Nugent made several comments about Perry’s competitors in the gubernatorial race, suggesting in particular that Kinky Friedman should be “court jester” during Perry’s reign and generally scorning all Perry's non-Republican competition. At the high point of his set, The Kansas City Bad Boy played a fierce guitar solo, at the end of which he screamed out “George W. Bush!” with frothy-mouthed bravado and barbaric angst. Perry danced on stage in his tuxedo, grinning contentedly.

On Moral Values
Perry's Inaugural Speech: “…I also believe no great society can be built, or maintained, if we cultivate in our children the vanity of self rather than the virtue of selflessness...Young Texans must never be taught about rights without also learning about responsibilities. [...]The fabric of our society is not government or individual freedom, it is the family. And the demise of the family is the demise of any great society.”

Ted Nugent at the Inaugural Ball: Terrible Ted actually sang the 70’s hit
“Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” to the assembled black-tie crowd, complete with pelvic thrusts, using his American flag guitar as a phallic prop in true rock and roll style. The stage was covered with machine guns and skulls as props. Perry danced on stage in his tuxedo, grinning contentedly.

Austinist has deciphered the code of Perry's Inaugural Speech. We see his true vision for the future of Texas. Forget peace, equality and a functioning democracy unburdened by partisan agendas. The future of Texas is rock and roll.


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