October 26, 2004

Ashley Simpson is dumb, and so is her band

I know this is kind of old news by now, but this is my blog and I can post what I want, when I want.

So, Ashley Simpson got caught lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live. Either everyone does it, as I've always figured, or she just really sucks. Even if everyone does do it, she still sucks.

You see, every musical guest on SNL gets to play two songs for the show. Ashley's first song went fine, but on the second one, her stupid band started playing the same song that they had already done! Ashley, who hasn't been performing for very long (she's only famous because of her sister), mouthed the words to the song that they were supposed to be playing while the pre-recorded track was singing the correct words.

HA!

I was pretty sure it has been no big secret that pop stars(such as Brittany Spears) don't sing live anymore because they really don't know how to sing properly and they would lose their voices before one of their million-dollar tours was even halfway finished, but this seems like proof.

When I first heard Ashley Simpson sing on the Late Show(you must keep in mind that I do not listen to mainstream radio), I thought, "What a crappy singer." Now we've seen that she has to lip-sync her own crappy voice! Wow, its a good thing she only got famous because her sister is Jessica Simpson, otherwise this may have been another Milly Vanilly thing.

October 18, 2004

The Third Presidential Debate

I didn't see the second one, but I know it got less ratings than the baseball game, which is really awesome. The third debate was much like the first. This time George did a good job of smiling and standing up straight, while Kerry didn't smile much, but stood up straight also. This debate was about domestic issues, very little on war, which was kind of a breath of fresh air, but this debate was really boring anyway. This race is nothing but "He's bad, he's wrong, here's why he sucks(insert yammering), I don't suck and you can just take my word for it!". I know thats a slight exaggeration, but few would disagree completely.

Here's my Prediction:
Which ever candidate is ahead in the polls in two weeks is the winner.
It doesn't really matter who wins, a douche is a douche is a douche, no matter how you spin it. Since they are both equivalent in their douchebaggedness, voters will vote for whoever their friends and employers tell them to, so candidates should really be focussing on swing states that could go either way.

Why vote Bush? He don't take crap from no one, and he sticks to his guns(even if he's wrong)
Why vote against Bush? He got us into an expensive and unneccessary war and he can't speak proper English on his own.

Why vote Kerry? He's been in a war much like the one Bush has us in, and he can speak proper English on his own.
Why vote against Kerry? He panders horribly(not flip-flops). He panders almost to the point that he does flip-flop, but always with a nice cute little explanation.

Pick Kerry the douche.

October 1, 2004

The First Presidential Debate

I watched the debate on Fox just to see if they would superimpose devil horns on John Kerry's head, but I guess thats hard to do with a live broadcast.

Anyway, now that I've heard the president's reasoning for the war, I still think it sucks. And it seems to me that Bush's supporters only like him because he shares their southern accent and tough guy attitude. I was very glad that Kerry brought up the fact that North Korea and Iran have the same weapons that we accused Iraq of having, and we do nothing to those countries. Bush had a good reason for not wanting to attack North Korea, but he didn't say why we didn't go after Iran like we did Iraq. I doubt he mixed up the countries and started war on the wrong one, but anything seems possible these days. Bush said,"The Enemy attacked us," and Kerry ran with it, reminding us that Iraq did not attack us on 9/11, it was Osama bin Laden, whom we still have not found because of our presence in Iraq.

Bush never used the word "flip flopper", which was really cool of him, but of course he threw in the stuff about Kerry's "mixed messages", a phrase repeated throughout the debate from both candidates. Kerry does a good job deffending himself against flip flop accusals, but I don't think he convinced any Bushies. I agree with Michael Moore's proposal that Kerry should just come right out and say,"Of course I voted for the war! Everyone was on Bush's side back then! And most of us have changed our minds now that we know the truth about the WMD's!", but there's no way he would say something like that, it's too cool for him.

Kerry also attacked the tax cut, basically saying that rich people like Bush and himself don't need such a break. I don't really remember what Bush had to say about his tax cut, I didn't take notes and it was in the very beginning of the hour-and-a-half debate.

I really paid attention to they way these guys talk and act during their speeches (I know it was a debate, but they really did give little speeches to answer the moderator's questions). Kerry never stops talking, he's got a whole lot to say. Bush tends to give little thoughtful pauses that allow the listener to think about what he is saying while he is talking. He may just not know exactly what to say, or maybe he just stalls for time, but I kind of like it. He still pronounces "nuclear" wrong, but thats kind of a trademark. I'd be sad if he actually figured out that he sounds like a freakin' moron.

I made a hilarious realization that I haven't heard talked about yet: Each candidate resembles the animal of their party somewhat. Kerry has the long face of a donkey, and Bush has the big ears of an elephant, how cool is that? I think they are the most animal-like presidential candidates we've ever had. Although Kerry is more of a bassit hound and Bush is more of a chimp, they do a really good job of representing their party's animal. Maybe too good.