Fox finally owns up to bin Laden's health

Last night my dad was watching the Astros game. During the commerical breaks he would click upwards one station (eerily convenient for most Southern sports fans' interest) to the Fox News Channel. As I walked in to the kitchen to adorn my pallent with tuna, I heard in the background something that I have known for a few years now: Osama bin Laden is extremely ill and is treated regularly with dialysis!

Apparently bin Laden is now requesting that his followers pray dilligently for his health, but for some odd reason I suspect that maybe Fox News is just a little late on mentioning this fact. Its not that he's gotten worse or recently got sick in the first place, its that this old information is somehow convenient for Fox News now, or perhaps the White House finally acknowledged bin Laden's condition so Fox routinely fell in line regardless whether they think its important.

It definately is important. It was important back in 2002 when Jello Biafra was talking about it in his spoken word performances. It was important when Michael Moore wrote about it in his book, Dude Where's My Country, in 2003. But now that news is credible beyond a shadow of a doubt because the White House or Fox News, whichever was first, has reported it.

Thanks for the info, Fox. Now everyone will finally believe that the big bad warewolf of 9/11 is on dialysis and is therefore not possibly hidden in the caves of Afghanistan or any caves at all, for that matter. When on earth will we ever find that mad man?