Saturday Night Live is NOT getting worse

It seems like every time I try to talk to someone about new SNL sketches, they're always like,"Yeah, I don't really watch it anymore, now that Mike Meyers and Adam Sandler and Chris Farley gone,". I understand that there are a lot of really really funny people who are no longer on the show, but I've got to be honest with you, the people who are still on the show are almost MORE funny than any other line up that they've had. Seriously. The writers are writing way better sketches too. Oh, boo hoo, Will Ferril and Tracy Morgan and Chris Katan left, have you seen ANY new sketches since they've left? Really funny stuff, people.


A friend of mine once said,"Well who's on there now?" Guess what, there's still an actor thats been there for eight years. It's Darrell Hammond. That dude is HILARIOUS! They've also got Jeff Richards, another long-time veteran. Lets see who else, Maya Rudolf, Tina Fey, Horatio Sanz, Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Seth Meyers. Thats not all. If you've seen SNL in the past three years or so, you may have seen a couple of guys there who you didn't recognize but were really funny (if you didn't think they were funny there is seriously something wrong with you). Their names are Fred Armison and Will Forte. I'm not joking, these guys will be legends someday. Absolutely hilarious comics, these guys. And the two newest featured artists on SNL include KENAN THOMPSON, from Nickelodeon's original line up of "All That", and Finese Mitchell(still getting his feet wet).

You can't just take my word for it, watch the freakin show! You won't be disappointed or un-intertained. SNL is not getting worse. Dare I say it, its funnier now than it ever was. Not even joking guys, just watch it.

Stage Presence

by Adam Stanley of The Drafted:

"Allow me to pose you a question: What do you expect to see when you go to a rock show?
I think I know your answer.  Jumpin' spinnin' guitarists right?
Why?
Today I overheard a conversation that briefly discussed the winner of the Harbour's Battle of the Bands, Carmeci. Carmeci was,"All over the stage", said converser number 1. Yeah? SO WHAT?! "What did the MUSIC sound like?" is what I want to know! I didn't hear anyone talk about how awesome Carmeci was, but if they're "All over the stage", then I guess it doesn't matter what they sound like!

Do you see the point I'm trying to make?
Look at the Ramones.
They had the craziest crouds of any band ever. Did they(Ramones) spin around and run and all this other flashy crap that everyone's impressed by? NO! Did they're crowd still enjoy it? GOD YES!
Here's another example: WEEZER.
Rivers Cuomo  never moves AT ALL while he's playing on stage. Neither do the rest of them. Virtually NO MOVEMENT WHATSOEVER ONSTAGE. Now look at the crowd. EVERYONE IS HAVING THE BEST TIME OF THEY'RE ENTIRE LIVES!
You do not need ANY stage presence onstage to have a fun show. If you appreciate music at all you know that. So why were the bands who competed at the Battle graded for stage presence? Because if all they judged was originality- you know, the only thing that really matters- that stupid punk band would have won, whats they're name? "I can't remember 'cause they didn't dazzle me with they're dances!" says THE WHOLE WORLD!
We [The Drafted] would have won."

I don't totally agree that they would have won, but I AM sick and tired of people being so impressed by bands that jump around and stuff while sounding like crap. When did the music die?

Score one for the band nerds

Hey, guess who's Homecoming Queen at Ross S. Sterling Highschool. I'll give you a hint, she's NOT a prep. Holy crap! She's not a prep? How could that be? I dunno, all I know is that it is Katherine Adams, a trombone player in the band at Sterling. There was also a flute player who may have won Junior Dutchess. But just getting crowned wasn't the only thing Katherine did, I heard she wore her MARCHING UNIFORM during the ceremony. How awesome is that?

It's times like these that seem to hint that society may be on the firge intellect, but I'm not convinced.

Congrat's Katherine!

Dover Drive

So there was this band that played at the Harbour tonight called Dover Drive.
Dover Drive=very good. Very good indeed. I could do without the hard-core style screams they do sometimes, but generally their vocals are very good. Although some may classify it as emo vocals, there's something about it that I can tolerate. They've got a great style that doesn't sound too formulaic[form-yoo-lay-ik], like many local bands you'll hear these days. I love their break downs and riffs, they're so tru!

This band simply rocks.

More on a bogus war

Like I was saying yesterday, you can't start a war against terrorism. My last statement was,"Maybe the U.S. wouldn't be a terrorist target if we gave something back to the world instead of taking so much[from it]."


Here's an idea that I found from, you guessed it, my favorite writer Michael Moore: Promise that within five years that the U.S. will give everyone in the world a clean drink of water(if they don't already have access to clean water). Then actually do it. This makes the U.S. a more caring country and less of a bully, thus creating little reason to want to kill its people in attacks like that of September 11th.


The cinics out there will say thats impossible. I ask,"Why not?". We're the richest country and largest consumer (and poluter) in the world. We could easily give people all around the world, who don't have one, a clean drink of water. It would be so simple. Ask water bottling companies to donate some water to the Give 'em a Friggin Drink Foundation, and they can brag about it all they want for publicity! It works out for everyone. Sure the price for bottled water would go up(more reason for the companies to do it) in the U.S., but as if that wasn't going to happen anyway, right? Plus, we could all feel alot safer knowing the world doesn't hate us so much.


Helping people.....What a concept!

Well it's 9/11, I suppose I should say something about it

Wow, has it been three years already? Yes it has, because 2004 minus 2001 equals three, and today is 9/11. That was a joke by the way. Is it still evil to say something about 9/11 if its not sad? Oh well, who cares? No one reads this blog anyway.

Did you know that a satellite can read a license plate number from outer space? I know you know that Osama bin Laden has not yet been captured. Why not? Here's your answer,"We don't know the territory dumb ass! There are millions of caves in Afghanistan and Palistine, or where ever he is!". Here's my responses to that,"Maybe he's in Saudi Arabia with his family who funds him. Three million dollars if I'm not mistaken."

Thats correct, by the way. No really, it is. Osama bin Laden has assets to at least three million dollars. The head lines said the trade center was attacked by terrorists. As my favorite writer, Michael Moore, points out,"Why didn't the head lines say 'Trade Center Attacked by Millionaire'?" That would have been just as acurate. Maybe instead of the War on Terror it should be the War on Millionaires. That just wouldn't seem to make sense would it? A war on millionaires? There are always going to be millionaires! How can you start a war against them? Guess what, there are always going to be terrorists. How could we start an entire "War on Terrorism"? Some people say,"You have to fight fire with fire!". Physically and literally, you have to fight fire with water or baking soda or foam from a fire extinguisher. Just ask any FIRE FIGHTER. It works the same way with fire from a gun. Maybe the U.S wouldn't be a terrorist target if we gave something back to the world instead of consuming so much.

More on this later...

My second favorite protest song

REVOLUTION

by Lennon/McArtney

You say you want a Revolution

Well you know

We all want to change the world

You tell me that its evolution

Well you know

We all want to change the world

But when you talk about destruction

Don't you know that you can COUNT ME OUT

Don't you know it's gonna be alright

Alright Alright

You say you got a real solution

Well you know

We'd all love to see the plan

You ask me for a contribution

Well you know

We are doing what we can

But if you want money for people with minds that hate

All I can tell you is brother you HAVE TO WAIT

Don't you know it's gonna be alright

Alright Alright

You say you'll change the constitution

Well you know

We all want to change your head

You tell me it's the institution

Well you know

You better free your mind instead

But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao

You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow

Don't you know it's gonna be

Alright Alright

My first favorite is "Happines is a Warm Gun" by none other than Lennon/McCartney

(if you don't know who John Lennon and Paul McCartney was/is, I'll first tell you how sorry I am for you and second, that they're from the Beatles)

Day in the Life of Joe-Average Republican

by John Gray
Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his life-time.
Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republican’s would still be sitting in the dark)
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.
He turns on a radio talk show, the host’s keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. (He doesn’t tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day) Joe agrees, “We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I’m a self made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have”.

More on the GOP Convention

One other funny thing I saw from the crowd was one of the chants they came up with. It's not the chant itself, which is "Four more years!" repeatedly. Its what they do while they say it. They've got their right arm extended upward holding up four fingers, they look like they're hailing Hitler! Their fingers are spred, so its not exactly the same, but its very similar. I'm not saying Republicans are Nazis, I just thought it looked funny. It was just so derivative of the clips you see from the rallies Hitler held in those big stadiums, I thought it was worth mentioning, just for laughs.

War over Education

So I was watching the Republican Convention on PBS the other night. I watched Cheney give his speech. Huge crowd. Lots of cowboy hats. Anyway, at one point he mentioned "Bush" and "education" in the same sentence for some reason and I noticed that the crowd's response was not nearly as big as when he talked about how we caught Saddam Hussein. What does this suggest about Republicans? Maybe their official color is red because they are blood-thirsty. Maybe their just gun nuts, which is fine with me, but shouldn't education still be an important subject even if this is a time of war? Maybe the only people at the convention were a bunch of rich oil guys with no kids who could care less about America's youth. Do we really want their candidate to win? Well, from the looks of it, it wasn't just a bunch of rich (white) oil guys. There were some ignorant parents with their kids too. But the fact still remains, War got a much more enthusiastic response than Education at the GOP Convention.

I guess my point is, maybe having a president who represents highly violent-natured people is a bad idea. (This would be a good time to mention that I don't endorce Kerry but I would prefer him to win since he's the only shot we've got to get rid of George of Arabia.)